From The Director, Kathy Irvin:
March 2008
Dads and Moms, never doubt your importance in the life of your child. Let me repeat that. Your presence in your child's life is important. How do we know this? We witness the devotion, excitement, enthusiasm of children for their parents every day. We see this in their faces. We hear it in their words. You, dear parents, mean the world to your little ones, are their world.
So I ask us to imagine a situation where one of our important items is removed from your daily routine. It might be our cell phone, Palm, Black Berry, Ipod, Nanny, car, email, cup of coffee...This situation might just throw us a bit, maybe even a lot. We are adults, supposedly used to managing and manuevering through changes and obstacles. Our mood might suffer. We might stew or spin. We might even throw a bit of a fit. Frustration is infuriating isn't it? OK, so now imagine that the person we count on to know us, understand our needs, take care of us and our schedule, shifts the routine.
We know from personal observation and the experts that children thrive on routine and order, even those that seem to go with the flow. Their confidence, ability to trust, contentment and their availability to be present to experience and learn all depend on a predictable environment. Can we always provide this for them? No. Isn't it good to learn to be flexible? Yes, as much as any of us wants to shift gears quickly and without warning. And it is a life long journey of learning for all of us.
So how do we help our children adjust to big and small changes? How do we get through a move, new baby, a parent out of town, a new nanny, construction, a sick grandparent, a sad Mommy or Daddy, an illness a stop that wasn't planned or a change that brings unhappiness to the whole family? We can acknowldge that life is about the unexpected. We can learn about our child's temperament and anticipate behavior changes. We can fill in all of the adults involved with our child that this particular event or situation is happening, the big changes and small ones. We just can't always anticipate what will upset a child. So, this sharing of information is especially important with teachers who see behavior out of the usual and can't help or understand unless they are clued in to the situation. Children are observant and have big ears. They don't know the facts but get the emotion. They sometimes feel the change but can's put words to their fears. We hear, "My tummy hurts", or My head has a pain." Some children need the details; others just need extra hugs and smiles. Some need a nap while others need distraction. Most often they want and need us. When we are at our craziest or busiest is when children need us to be at our calmest and most routine. Unfortunately, that is not the way it always works out. But, awareness and then acting on that awareness is a huge step in the right direction. So what do we do when we don't get it right? We regroup. We admit that the day wasn't the best. We ask for forgiveness. We fold our hands together at bedtime, big hands and little hands, and tell it all to God. We ask for his presence in our lives, His hands on our shoulders. We let our children hear our humanness and our gratitude. Tomorrow is a new day, and we do not walk it alone.