From The Director, Kathy Irvin:
February 2006
Our first son turns 21 tomorrow and our high school senior has chosen his college. The following "Zits" comic expresses what I am feeling.
We shake our heads and wonder, "how did we get here so quickly". We certainly haven't aged that much! All the years of planning and dreaming and hoping and here I sit on the eve of our son's birthday remembering how we drove across rural Missouri in extreme weather to deliver our first child. My husband has been transferring videos from the past 20 years onto DVD to preserve them, and it has been such a riot watching them but painful too because I miss all of those moments. Our children, our marriage, our families all growing and changing on the big screen as we watch birthdays, ball games, school performances, Christmas' , and vacations. For all of our working and worrying to "make" our lives, our lives have truly been about relationships.
I think that is why the "Zits" cartoon caught my attention. When children are little they want their parents. They are truly "in love" with their Moms and Dads. We see this so often at AJN. Separation is hard because parents are the most important people in their small world. And even though this attachment can cause us to feel frustrated, consumed, and overwhelmed, this is exactly the time, and the years when we need to grab hold and pour ourselves into these little people. These are the years when our words and actions count. Our values take shape in their hearts. We are in charge of their world. We create and organize their days. What we make time for speaks volumes, creates a picture of what is important. Certainly they bring their own personalities to mix, but they need to know from us that they are a unique gift from God and that we are absolutely crazy about them no matter what. Ever catch your self saying, "I can't wait until…" I can promise you that there will come a time when they will make their own choices, find their own way, just as we did - remember?
They will grow up and will leave home, eventually and we are left wondering when we will see them again. It happens just as it should. Hasn't this been our prayer all along?
I do know that we ultimately learn all of these truths by taking our own journey. I just can't help sharing a few that I have gathered these past 21 years. Don't get caught up in planning and worrying and hurrying, take time to enjoy every stage. Don't push too hard or too fast. Our children don't always need to be working on the future. Today counts. Be present in the moment, enjoy it, soak it up, save it. Don't let others shape the definition of "success". We can watch it unfold right in front of us. Success comes in so many marvelous shapes and sizes. We will not remember the exhaustion, the pain, the earaches, the disappointments. We will remember and treasure time spent together.
Kathy Irvin